PolyProse

Our connection to a story hinges on how deeply we empathize with characters. As writers, we always hear the advice, “Show, don’t tell.” But what does that mean? And is telling always bad? This blog post will deepen your understanding of the concept and explore techniques to craft compelling narratives.

Deconstructing “Showing”

Showing involves using vivid descriptions, sensory details, and subtextual dialogue to indirectly state a character’s emotions.

Here are some methods of showing:

• Sensory Details: Describe the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures that evoke a character’s emotional state. The basic five are not all-encompassing. Balance (detecting movement), proprioception (understanding where limbs are during movement), interoception (temperature, thirst, hunger), electroreception (sensing electric fields), and hygroreception (detecting humidity).
  • Example: Instead of “He was having fun,” you could say, “He smiled before spilling out into a laugh.”
• Actions and Body Language: A character’s actions and body language can convey emotions.
  • Example: Rather than “She was nervous,” you could try, “She chewed on her thumbnail and spoke in a hushed, shaky tone.”
• Dialogue: The words spoken, and those only inferred, can reveal a character’s feelings.
  • Example: One could say, “I’m sad,” but to show it, you could write, “His voice cracked as he whispered, ‘I can’t believe he’s gone.’”
• Setting and Atmosphere: Environmental elements can mirror a character’s emotions.
  • Example: A sunny day can emphasize a character’s joy. Meanwhile, sorrow could reflect on a stormy night. 
• Internal Monologue: A character’s internal dialogue can reveal thoughts and feelings.
  • Example: “How is this possible? He thought, his throat synching.”

Deconstructing “Telling”

Telling directly states a character’s internal conditions. While often frowned upon, telling can be a powerful tool.

Here are some forms of telling:

• Direct Statement: Explicitly name the emotions and conditions a character feels. “She was happy,” “He was afraid,” or “She was cold.”
• Summary: Briefly describe a character’s emotional state over time. “Over the next few days, his depression continued to grow.”
• Explanation: State a character’s emotions and their reasoning. “She was angry because he cheated.”

Here are some functions of telling:

• Efficiency: Telling can rapidly convey information and advance the plot.
• Clarity: Telling can remove ambiguity to help the audience understand a character’s emotions and thoughts in complex situations.
• Emphasis: Telling can emphasize a particular emotion for dramatic effect.
• Pacing: Telling can speed up the pace of a story, whereas showing may slow it down.

Optimal Balance: The Art of Knowing When to Show and Tell

There is no equation for how much to show or tell; the ratio is specific to the scene, chapter, and overall work.

Here are some general guidelines:

• Show when:
  • Emotion is crucial to the scene’s impact.
  • You want the audience to bond with a character.
  • You want to create a memorable experience.
• Tell when:
  • The emotion is secondary to the scene’s impact.
  • Information should unfold quickly.
  • “Showing” impairs emotional complexity.

The Nuances of When “Telling” Becomes “Showing” and Vice Versa

“Showing” and “telling” are on a spectrum. The two techniques can blur or even transform into each other through the manipulation of language, perspective, and narrative context.

When “Telling” Approaches “Showing”

• Vivid and Specific Language: When “telling” employs highly evocative language, it can take on the qualities of “showing.” Instead of simply stating, “He was angry,” a writer might say, “His anger spilled onto the canvas. He abused the portrait with each brush stroke.” Here, the precise words and figurative language create a sensory experience for the reader, making the emotion feel more immediate and visceral.
• Character’s Voice: If “telling” is delivered through a character’s unique voice, it can create “showing.” For example, a character who is usually bubbly and excited may say, “Yeah, whatever, I’m fine,” but the coldness contrasts with their characterization.
• Context and Subtext: A simple statement of emotion can be loaded with subtext that “shows” more than it tells. Consider this line: “She forced a slight smile as the coffin descended. While the dirt piled on, she told herself she was happy. His pain was over.” The word “forced” implies deep emotional complexity. The final statement about the end of pain explains the action. The context “shows” that this character is not happy, only accepting of her reality. 

When “Showing” Approaches “Telling”

• Symbolic Actions: Symbolic or metaphorical action can function as a form of telling. For instance, “After the breakup, he built a wall to never hurt again.” The character did not build a wall, but the phrase is commonly used figuratively. There is no ambiguity or nuance in its meaning. The wall symbolizes emotional isolation. Some figurative actions abstractly “tell” the audience a character’s state of mind.
• Internal Monologue as Exposition: Internal monologues are predominantly “showing.” However, they can veer into “telling.” A character might think, “I felt betrayed because my coworker blamed me. I’ve realized I can’t trust anyone.” The previous quote directly explains the character’s emotional state and its implications.
• Generalized Description: If a writer uses “showing” to describe a character’s emotional state over some time, it can take on the quality of “telling.” For example, “His heart couldn’t take the pain. Week after week, he stayed up all night, lost his appetite, and finally, stopped socializing.” The quote uses evidence to “show” depression, but it utilizes “telling” in stating the events.

Examples from Media

• The Hunger Games (movie): In the pivotal moment where Katniss volunteers, there is no narration explaining why. Neither does Katniss outright explain that she cares for her sister’s well-being. She shouts for her sister and pushes against the guards to reach her. She quickly realizes she has no choice but to take her sister’s place. She says, “Prim. Prim! I volunteer! I volunteer. I volunteer as tribute.” This is a moment of “showing” that proves Katniss’s love for Prim to the audience.

• Night Shift by Stephen King: The short story Jerusalem’s Lot is a series of dated notes and letters. Towards the beginning, the protagonist, Charles Boone, hears large rats in the walls. That is the first indication of a supernatural presence. The events grow more disturbing, resulting in gory deaths. The narration implies that the contents of the letters are the truth. However, the last letter states, “It is assumed that a recurrence of the unfortunate brain fever which struck him originally following the death of his wife in 1848 caused Charles Boone to lose his sanity and murder his companion and longtime friend, Mr. Calvin McCann.” This statement is telling the audience that the events of the short story were all delusions. However, the very last sentence circumvents that belief. James Robert Boone, who received the letters, relocates to the house that infected Charles’s mind. He says, “There are some huge rats in the walls, by the sound.” This quote creates even further doubt, making the narration unreliable. In this final letter, the distinction between telling and showing becomes more nuanced, as the reader is uncertain which statements are factual.

• Breaking Bad: The series predominantly “shows” Walter White’s transformation from chemistry teacher into drug lord. However, there are instances where Walter explicitly “tells” others how he feels, such as his confession, “I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. I was really alive. This quote reveals thematic implications for Walter’s character. It demonstrates that his selfish actions were not entirely altruistic and exposes a darker side of his personality. This telling statement also carries subtextual elements that suggest deeper meanings.

Techniques to Enhance Showing and Employing Telling

Here are some techniques for both showing and telling:

How to Show, Not Tell

1. Use specific and evocative sensory details: Instead of “He was scared,” you could write, “His heart slammed against his ribs like a cat trapped in a paper bag.”
2. Employ active verbs and strong imagery: Rather than “She walked sadly,” one could say, “She dragged her feet with a wet and heavy gaze.”
3. Subtly reveal emotions through micro-expressions: In place of “He was surprised,” you could write, “He gasped with wide eyes as everyone jumped out of his closet with balloons.”
4. Use dialogue tags that convey emotion: Instead of “‘I hope she doesn’t find us,’ he said,” you could write, “‘I hope she doesn’t find us,’ he whispered, crawling deeper beneath the bed.”

How to Use “Telling” Effectively

1. Use telling for transitions and summaries: “The following weeks were filled with anxiety as they neared the test.”
2. Use telling to establish a baseline: “At first, she wanted a new hobby, but her interest soon turned to obsession.”
3. Use telling for complex emotions: “A caustic mix of grief and guilt rushed through him as he fought back enraged tears.”
4. Use telling to control pacing: A short sentence can speed up a scene, while longer, more descriptive ones can slow it down.

Conclusion

Experimenting with showing and telling is crucial for crafting emotional resonance. While “showing” is often regarded as the go-to, “telling” is a valuable tool that can enhance clarity, efficiency, and pacing. By understanding the nuances of each technique and knowing when to use them strategically, you can create narratives that keep an audience coming back. What are your thoughts on “showing vs. telling”? Do you have favorite examples or personal techniques? Share them in the comments below; I’d love to hear how you approach it in your writing.

To conclude, I would like to express my gratitude to QuillBot. I write these posts alone, and without the application, my writing would be fraught with grammar and spelling errors. QuillBot also tells me when sections of my work lack clarity or aren’t engaging. If you’d like to make an account and subscribe to one of their plans, please use my affiliate link: https://try.quillbot.com/polyprose.

As always, I’d like to thank Scrivener as well. It is my writing software of choice, and without it, I don’t think I would have had the confidence needed to start this blog. I initially applied for the free trial. After only two weeks, I paid the one-time cost to own a license to the software. Here is my affiliate link for that: https://www.literatureandlatte.com/scrivener-affiliate.html?fpr=polyprose