PolyProse

I just finished watching the movie “Us.” I asked myself what it means to have a soul and a shadow. I found myself in a rabbit hole, no pun intended. There is one scene in the movie where the “shadow” is dancing and says that she felt God. I wasn’t quite sure if I had ever had an experience like that. I can’t point to any part of my life and say that a higher power had spoken to me in some way. Gods have never manifested miracles or blessings that I’m aware of.

The best analogy I have for “God” is “Purpose.” So I asked myself, when do I feel like I’ve profoundly connected to the universe? It only took a few seconds for me to answer: “Writing.” It’s strange how writing a story can lift me out of my body. I understand love, hatred, pain, and pleasure more than ever while writing a character. I feel connected to the intricacies of desire and reclusion. There is beauty in everything, and I’m not just writing words; I’m examining another reality.

But the moment I close the laptop, I forget it all. I become human again and fear talking to my Tinder match. I remember that I have to eat and drink water, but I worry that I’ve overeaten. I know I have responsibilities, but I scold myself for never doing them perfectly. I shrink knowing that I’m just one man with limited power.

I think that in that scene, the shadow felt free, untethered, from her body. She was able to dance and move as if the world were empty. I don’t think she was touched by God. I assume that she imagined a new world, and in that place, she was God.