PolyProse

There are definitely people out there who have suffered total amnesia, but I’m not one of them. However, I can surmise an answer.

The core question hidden in the one above is “Who am I?” which I don’t think anyone knows. It’s a funny thought that the person we know best is actually a stranger. The great philosophers of antiquity couldn’t decipher the answer. I’m not bold enough to take a crack at it. But I can assume some characteristics he would have.

No matter what, I think he would be feverishly curious. I’ve always seen the world as something too intricate to ignore. I ask why a leaf is green, and I’m told chlorophyll, but then why is that pigment such a vibrant color? What is color? What is light, and why do we see it? What is a photon, and how can something be both a particle and a wave? Why are there four fundamental forces rather than five? What is a quantum field and how does it work? There’s always another question to ask, and I’ve never found where they end.

He would be a hermit. I’ve never enjoyed the company of others too much. There have been people that I adore. I think about them fondly and pretend they are excelling at life no matter what. But I never try to message them. Relationships are like lightning in a bottle, and to communicate, I would need to remove the cork. It’s safer to keep that energy on a shelf than it is to toy with it. Being alone is a sweet ambrosia that I crave. However, that perspective may stem from my human experience. He might be different.

I’m not sure if he would be kind, as everyone has a level of cruelty to them. But I hope that if I ever learn my Tabula Rasa, there’s love written somewhere in that stone. Perhaps I would consider the memory-wiped version cruel, but he would disagree. I wonder if he would be as indecisive. It’s a core personality trait of mine, but maybe that comes from memories of making mistakes. I’m not sure a blank slate would understand repercussions. He might not know what it’s like to disappoint someone. He might not understand what it feels like to be hurt. He might be braver than I am.

He would certainly be creative. What he would create is the real question. I wonder what themes he would explore. I wonder if he would ask the opposite of this question. I wonder what character traits he would give me. Perhaps we would be the Kindred’s Gray Man, one man cut in two so he would always have a friend.