PolyProse

My current life philosophy is very fluid. The world around us is concrete and abides by predictable laws. I know what a stone is. I could calculate its age, conclude its composition, and predict its destruction. However, when it comes to the human condition, I wouldn’t know where to begin.

We filter the stable natural world through colored glass. No two people experience an identical human illusion. Everything is subjective, even what I consider to be the darkest parts of human action. No one can definitively say what is moral or immoral with sufficient proof to convince the unconscious natural world to change its laws. We have to decide for ourselves what we will or won’t do and why. We must determine which actions we accept in our presence and which ones we firmly oppose. We have to put effort into our own rules and prepare to defend them when challenged.

If I could change my philosophy, I would choose to be religious. I could adhere to Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, or any other religion. The idea of a holy text or set of conditions with rules and regulations is tempting. Having to defend what you believe could be made simple by pointing down at a line of ancient text and saying, “That’s why,” without much effort or forethought. There’s a pleasurable sense in the idea that something almighty and powerful has tucked me under its wing. I would feel secure knowing a god is protecting me for following the rules it has bestowed.

However, I would hate to lose my understanding that my perception is flawed. I don’t think having extra confidence in my beliefs would strengthen me as a person. Not only that, but I would always wonder if I was born into the correct religion. If an evil god demanded evil actions before rewarding the occupants of its religion with a super heaven, I’m not sure I would be happy fulfilling my obligations. If a kind god asks for nothing from its people, offering great peace, I’d question the transactional value. I’d have a whole new set of anxieties and fears that I don’t know how to maneuver since I never had them. It would be a whole new colored glass to look through that I’ve never experienced and am not so sure I want to.